Houshin Engi: Jeopardy Style
by anime youkai
Summary: What happens when the Houshin cast plays Jeopardy? What fun and mischief will Taikoubou and friends come up with next? ^.^
1. let the games begin!

Houshin Engi: Jeopardy Style  
  
The annoying Jeopardy tune began as the screen focused in on our host, Youzen. He was wearing a gray suit with his long, blue hair tied back. "Welcome to Jeopardy! I am your host, Youzen-san, and here our the guests." The camera zoomed in on the three podiums. Taikoubou was sleeping on the left one, with a trail of drool coming out of his mouth. Dakki was on the center podium, acting very genki with little sparkles floating around her. Last, but not least, was Outenken. He looked disgruntled.  
Youzen went up to Taikoubou's podium. He tapped on the podium a few times. He continued to sleep. Youzen slapped him across the face.  
"Uh?!"  
Youzen looked at his cue card. "Ahem. Taikoubou is a doushi from Konron Mountain. It is said that your future career is 'being a peach farmer.' Why the choice of career?"  
"So I can get laid in da shade," he replied with a grin.  
Youzen gave Taikoubou a disgusted look.  
"Just kidding! I Luuuuuuuvvv peaches!"  
"Um... next person." Youzen walked up to Dakki's podium. "Dakki is the Empress of China. Her hobbies include 'ruling the world, having everyone worship her, and ruling the world.'"   
"Yup! Te-hee!" She did the sparkly thingy. "You- zen. If you let me win I'll let you be one of my main men in MY harem." She reached for Youzen.  
"Thanks, but let's move on with the show."  
Dakki began to pout.  
Youzen kept a moderate distance from Outenken. "This is... Outenken. He wants to become a gothic rock star."   
"Hell yea! Better than being a pansy tart like you!"  
Youzen gave Outenkun the death glare. "And here are our categories. Fruits (ding!), having a pencil (ding!), shinobou tea (ding!), days that start with "Mon." (ding!), what day is it? (ding!), and Things you ate for breakfast today (ding!). We'll start with Taikoubou..." Youzen looked at Taikoubou, who had fallen asleep again. A sweat drop appeared over Youzen's head. "Let's move on to Dakki."  
"Oh, I can't decide. I'll pass."  
"Ok... then Outenken."  
"I'll take 'days that start with 'Mon.'," he mumbled.  
"At what price?"  
"I don't know. Suprise me you dirty tard."  
"That wasn't necessary," Youzen replied through gritted teeth. " 'Days that start with "Mon" for 1000."  
The screen lit up and the question appeared.  
"This is the only day that starts with "Mon." Dakki?"  
"What is Monuseday?"  
"No. Taikoubou?"  
"Wha... is Mon?"  
"No. Outenken?"  
"March."  
"No! March is a MONTH, not a day. The answer is Monday. Today happens to be Monday."  
Outenkun flipped Youzen off and glared at him. Youzen glared back.  
"Okay... Taikoubou, why don't you pick the next category?"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hm..." Taikoubou was in deep thought for a spilt second. "I know! I'll have 'Fruits' for 1,000!"  
Outenkun, Dakki, and Youzen laughed. Youzen tried to make it look like he was coughing.   
"Here's the question."  
The question appeared on the screen. "This person (who happens to be Emperor of Chouka) is fruity. Name this person."  
Bling!  
Daikki rang her buzzer. "What is meeeeeeeeeee?!"  
"Wrong."  
Bling!  
"Outenkun?"  
"Youzen."  
Youzen gave Outenkun the evil eye. Taikoubou pointed at Youzen and laughed.  
BIIINNNNNNNG!!!  
"The answer is Chou. Chou is the current Emperor of Chouka. He IS fruity." Youzen gave a disgusted look to the three contestants. Especially Otenkun. I can't believe how STUPID they are! "Let's move on to final Jeopardy. And the question is..."  
Ding! The question appeared on the screen.  
"Where do you live? Just write down where you live."  
The Jeopardy tune played as the contestants wrote their responses. Taikoubou was writing furiously. Dakki was playing with her pencil as she wrote her response. Otenkun chewed on his pencil.  
Biiinnnnnnnnnnngggg!!!!  
"Let's look at our contestants responses. And Taikoubou wrote..."  
The screen showed many crossed out answers. At the bottom of the screen, it said scrawled out, "In your pants ^.^."  
Youzen sweatdroped. "You MUST be drunk!"  
Taikoubou grinned, making the peace sign with his right hand. "Hehehe!"  
"Let's move on to Dakki! Dakki wrote...?"  
The screen showed Dakki's response written in perfect handwriting. "I don't know. Tehee!".  
"I don't know...? Dakki, you've been living in the same house for over 500 years and YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE?!?"   
"Hey! It's true ya know! Get a grip!"  
Multiple veins appeared over Youzen's head. "Idiots..." He gritted through his teeth. He held his eyes close for five seconds and took in a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "Okkaay... Otenkun's response is..." Youzen looked at the screen and he was utterly shocked. There was a stick figure picture of Youzen 'getting it up the ass' from Genshitenshin. Youzen's jaw dropped.   
Otenkun looked smug. "Yup. That's what you deserve, you horny bastard!"  
"How- how dare you!!!!" Youzen's entire body turned red with anger as he jumped Otenkun. Ko Tenka, Ko Hiko, and Fugen tried to pry Youzen off of the gothic elf. The Jeopardy tune began to play as the crowd burst into applaud.  
The camera shifted to Shinkouyo's clown-like face. "Well, that was interesting, ne?"  
  
What will happen on the next episode of Houshin Engi: Jeopardy style? Who will the next contestants be? Stat tuned for the next episode of Houshin Engi: Jeopardy style! ^^  
  
(Started 12-9-01 Completed 2-14-02 Houshin Engi and Jeopardy are copyrighted by their original owners.) 


	2. some more contestants prove their worth....

Jeopardy Part 2  
  
  
The annoying Jeopardy tune began as the screen focused in on our host, Youzen. He was wearing a blue suit with his long, blue hair tied back. "Welcome to Jeopardy! I am your host, Youzen-san, and here our the guests." The camera zoomed in on the three podiums. Ko Tenka blew a smoke ring from the twig hanging from the side of his mouth. Raishinshi, pouting and whining as usual, was at the center podium. And last but not least, everyone's favorite meatiness aka Nataku was at the third podium. His face was blank of all emotion.  
Youzen straightened his purple tie. "As all of you know, I was assaulted by our last guest-"   
"Yeah right, tard!"  
Youzen looked around. "Who said that?!?"  
No one answered.  
"Never mind. Let's find out more about our guests." Youzen walked up to Ko Tenka's podium. Ko Tenka looked stoned. "This is Ko Tenka. He likes to smoke cigarettes-"  
"WEED! I smoke me weed!" Tenka slurred.  
"And yet you're smoking a stick at this moment?"  
"It's the damn animator's fault! They make me smoke a twig instead of me weed!"  
"OK... Next person. Youzen was disgusted. He walked up to Rashinshi's podium. Raishinshi had a crack-head-bob smile on his face. "This is Raishinshi."  
"I wanna become the greatest super hero in the world!" Raishinshi cheered.  
"Raishinshi's a he?!? Could've fooled me!" the mysterious yet somewhat familiar voice yelled. Youzen looked around. Raishinshi began to cry. "Next person." Youzen walked up to Nataku's podium. "This is Nataku. He is somewhat a violent and hates his father."  
Nataku lifted up his arms, ready to fire his ken-kon-ken paopei at Youzen.  
"And he loves his Mother."  
Nataku lowered his deadly weapons.  
"And here are our categories." The screen lit up and the categories appeared. "Fun with numbers (Ding!), having a fruit (ding!), shamans (ding!), in the bathroom (ding!), an eye for an eye (ding!), and finally 'meat nuggets' (ding!). Ko Tenka, pick a category."  
"I'll take 'having a fruit' for 100000000000 and 1/2."  
"Um, there isn't that amount of money, so we'll go with a thousand," Youzen decided. The question appeared on the podium. "He's strange, he likes men, and he is one. He is a sennin on Mt. Konron. Name this fruit." Youzen had an idea on what the answer was: Genshitensin. He still had nightmares about the time Genshitenshin made a pass for him (from my friend and I's fic "Taikoubou and Co go to High School" !^.^)  
Tenka buzzed in. "Wha is .... Taikoubou..."   
The audience laughed.  
"That should be the answer!" The mysterious voice yelled.  
"No, it isn't the answer. Good try," Youzen praised.  
Raishinshin buzzed in. "What is the great, the magnificent... Taikoubou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Youzen looked annoyed. "I already said that was the wrong answer."  
Nataku, which suprised Youzen, buzzed in. "Taitsu."  
Youzen looked at his cue card and was suprised. "That's the correct answer?! Someone actually got an answer right on this show?!? Cameras!!! Are we filming this?"  
The camera person gave a thumbs up.  
Youzen sighed. "Good, very good. Nataku, pick the next category."  
Nataku looked blank.   
"Um, I'll pick the next category," Youzen decided. "Shamans for 400." The question appeared on the screen. "He's the main character (who is a shaman) from the anime "Shaman King." Name this shaman."  
Tenka buzzed in again. "It's that shaaaa -man again!!! That dude with the hair and the eyes and he smokes weeeeeeeeeed!!!!!!!"  
Bing!   
"Times up. You DID describe him, Ko Tenka, but you didn't mention Yoh's name. The main character from Shaman King is Yoh."  
"I thought it was that midget thingy, you card reader!" the voice yelled again.  
Youzen looked around again, trying to find the mysterious person.   
"You read from a card!!! You can't think for yourself worth shit!"  
A vein appeared on Youzen's head. "Security!!! Find that person who keeps yelling obscenities!!!!"  
Some buff security guards took Youzen's mission.  
"Ok... let's move on to final jeopardy. And the category is 'licking a lolli- pop'. Just write down what you do to a lollie pop."  
The annoying jeopardy tune played again. Ko Tenka scribbled something down. Raishinshi thought carefully as he wrote down his answer. Nataku gave the pen a funny look, as though he was confused about its purpose.  
"The time is up! Let's see what Ko Tenka wrote...." Youzen looked at Ko Tenka's answer, which was a giant hemp leaf. "That's not correct. And your wager is... nothing. Next contestant! And Raishinshi's answer is... eat it. Hmmm... that's not the right answer."  
Raishinshi began to cry.  
"And you wagered ... your pop's money...? It looks like Ki Shou is footing the bill..." Youzen almost pitied the bat boy. Almost. "Last but not least is Nataku! And you wrote down nothing and your wager is nothing." Youzen realized that someone had actually won on his show. And that person who won was Nataku, the least smartest of the group. After all, he's a human paopei. "And our winner is Nataku!!! You're getting a full paid trip to-"  
"Are there any paopei?" Nataku asked.  
"Paopei?" Youzen inquired.   
"Yes, I must get more paopei," Nataku aimed his ken kon ken at Youzen.  
"We can have something arranged," Youzen stated quickly.  
The buff security guards arrived with the trouble maker. It was none other than our sadistic elf, Otenkun.  
"Is this the freak you're looking for boss?" The security guard asked.  
"YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!! What are YOU doing here?!?" Youzen asked in suprise.  
"I'm here to help these people get away from your fakeness, you tard!" Otenkun spat.  
Youzen whipped out a piece of paper. "You may have forgotten from our last encounter, but I have a restraining order!!"   
Otenkun smiled. "So do I."  
More security guards arrived. "Freeze! Both of you are under arrest for breaking your restraining orders!!!"  
"Wha?!?" Youzen exclaimed. The security guards began to drag him and Otenkun away. "I won't let you get away with this!!! What about you?!? Don't you care that you're getting arrested?!?"  
"If I'm getting in trouble, you're getting dragged away with me," Otenkun calmly replied.  
"I want my lawyer!!!" Youzen wailed as he was dragged away.  
"Rats! I didn't win!!!" Raishinshi wailed.  
"No cash, no dope," Ko Tenka added.  
"Where are the pao pei?" an angry Nataku asked. In pure rage, he began to fly around and destroy the studio.  
The jeopardy tune slowly faded out, completing another episode of Houshin Engi Jeopardy.  
  
Story copyright 4-7-02 Anime Youkai. Houshin engi is owned by Shounen Jump, etc. 


End file.
